Friday, July 9, 2010

Remember Me Discussion Group

Readers have asked for a way to continue with the discussions that sprung around the "favorite quotes" series that counted down the days until the Remember Me DVD release. So we are going to try something new. Entitled "Remember Me Discussion Group", discussion type questions will be posted. For how long? We will see how it goes, there are most certainly plenty of topics we can talk about. If there is something that you would like discussed, please drop me an email at

Why did Tyler lash out at Ally just before the boardroom scene? ("Do you think you can take care of yourself..for just an hour?").


InstantKarmaGirl said...

Tyler lacks the ability to really deal with his emotions. He has no one else to lash out to and Ally was there. He was frustrated with the situation and frustrated that she was there to witness it.

Also, I feel like a lot of weight's been put on him. His mother asks him to get his father to participate. He feels responsible for his mother and his little sister's happiness. He feels responsible for Ally because he's involved her. Their relationship started out as a deception (no matter how big/small) and she walked away from her father for him.

That's a lot of weight to carry. He was mad. He was angry. He was upset with himself and she was there.

So many people are guilty of this.

Thanks so much for opening this site up for discussion again. I am so thankful to have found the site!

LTavares2010 said...

I think it is the way Tyler has to deal with some situations. He is impulsive sometimes and says things and does things he would not say or do if he had thought better. He is human, he is full of emotions ( anger, guilt, sadness...) and never had someone to whom he could vent and he looses control. The only person he tells everything that in his mind is Michael, but he needs more than this.

P.S. Thank you Kat for opening this discussion group.

soozy said...

I'm so glad we are doing this again....Thanks so much for doing it!

I agree with IKGirl. Tyler is taking care of his sister, smoothing things with his father and now taking care of Allie. It's a lot to put on a 22 yo. kids shoulders. I think his anger and frustration got the better of him and he lashed out at the available target. Yes...his anger was displaced but it was raw emotion and that is usually uncontrolled and sometimes unexplainable.

Jen ( said...

I watched this scene today and gave it some real thought from the minute Tyler has his confrontation with his Father he is fuming and beyond frustrated. To make matters worse it was a great revelation to Tyler to learn that Ally wasn’t as open to him as he had been to her about his brother Michael by telling his Father that she had been present when her Mother was murdered. I think this helped feed his drama in the restaurant when he snapped at his Father and told him it was not enough and refused to take his car.

After seeing how hurt Caroline was because her Father wasn’t there he rips the picture from the wall and calls Ally…She dutifully
follows him and once home he gets his bike and angrily confronts her when she tries to talk to him. He was rough with her by pushing her and telling her if she can take care of herself for an hour and can she manage that…Of course she is furious …where the heck is she going to go? She was slapped by her Father and
I don’t think she had real close friends she could call on as her Father seems to control her every movement. So here poor Ally is left sweltering in a hot apartment and hurt and angry he has left her.

I think Tyler is very angry about what has happened to his sister but also feels angry and betrayed by Ally that she kept a secret from him.

Thanks Kat you for opening up this discussion I think we are going to share a lot about the movie.

WhyIstheRumAlwaysGone said...

Thank you so much Kat for opening the discussion group!
I agree with everyone here, but I think there's maybe something else : sure, Tyler is unable to control his raw anger at that moment, and he reacts violently when Ally tries to make him behave rationally, but I think he may also resent her (even unconciously) because she got on so well with Charles at the Oak Room. It's a bit as he were telling her: "which side are you on, mine or my father's?"

Anonymous said...

I would really like to join the discussion, but every time I see the movie or visit this site and hear the music I'm breaking up in tears. I had a few people in my life that didn't live for long, but made a huge impression on me and they touched me like no others. Tyler represents these people for me.... I so love him and feel for him. Rob was just amazing in this movie....and I can't thank him enough for making this movie possible. Love you Rob!

InstantKarmaGirl said...

Jen- thanks for adding the bit about Ally keeping that part from him.

It definitely gave him pause and it, understandably hurt.

Jen( said...

Yes, WhyistheRumAlwaysGone I think Ally sharing this story with Charlies not only hurt Tyler it made him mad and your right it was around about way in his thinking of whose side was she on.

Jen ( said...

InstantKarma Girl-Your welcome it wasn't until I saw the movie at home and had time to really watch it that I picked this up and thought oh! My Ally innocently crossed the line of the enemy and in doing so hurt Tyler.

jessegirl said...

Got in late to this discussion, I see. Yeah, Kat! A place to discuss! A bunch of us didn't want it to end. Looks like most of the gang's here.

I don't know what there is to add; I think you've all put in fantastic analyses.
Yes, it seemed like Ally was getting really chummy with Charles at the Oak Room. I think she was, actually, pretty diplomatic and would have been a good peacekeeper in future, if these two guys would listen to her.
But yes, Jen, Ally told his Dad about witnessing her mother's murder, which is a huge revelation. Tyler probably thought it was intimate enough that it should've been only for his ears at first, and now here is his girlfriend spilling it to his Dad in a restaurant, a public place, making it difficult for him to confront her. After clearing his throat, he says something like: "Why do you say this now?" Yeah, why now? I wondered the same thing. So, as Rum said, Tyler is now resentful and frustrated for all the other reasons, the weight you all talk about.

But, if Ally was staying at Tyler's, I want to know where she got that gorgeous dress?

Heidi said...

I am really late! I don't have anything to add, either, but big thanks Kat for giving us more opportunities to discuss this incredible film. Just watched the director's commentary and it was so insightful...also watched the cast commentary; Rob had plenty of funny moments. Love hearing everyone's thoughts about different points in the film. I don't think you could ever get tired of discussing it.

Jen ( said...

Jessegirl, it's true Ally did spill some intimate information to Charlie and that probably set Tyler off some more that his Father had the first reveal before he did...I wonder where she got the dress also and if this took place on his birthday and how much time passed before Adian went to tell Ally about Tyler and after Ally went to see Caroline did she go home with Tyler that day or what...we see them walking to the park together and I wonder if she went back to his apartment and stayed the night with him and everything was back as before until the morning he died.

soozy said...

You know...I think it was more than just the reveal of the way her Mother died.

During the dinner scene, Tyler is pleased that she joins the conversation about the 'Fat' Yankee team and obviously sees his point. But when she and Charles start joking and laughing...he appears dismayed. I think they storm started brewing then....

jessegirl said...

Yeah, soozy--well heeello--Ally is taking up residence in 'Switzerland', ostensibly on Tyler's side regarding the 'fat Yankees' discussion, but she does it in a way which allows Charles and Tyler both their dignity. She makes a light game of it, and so Charles can laugh. This nimble deflection thwarts Tyler's ability to retaliate publicly without seeming like a jerk. But he's itching for a fight. Also, when she plays it this way, neither of them are able to dig their heels in and intensify their conflict openly.

Rob talks about Tyler's fights with his Dad being just old, almost boring, unresolved ruts. But I think, within the framework we've been shown in the film, the boardroom scene to come is a huge turning point in their relationship, (a theory I've bored everyone here with in the boardroom quotes posts). I think it's so interesting how Rob sees some of the characters he plays; he sees their flaws clearly and talks about them but he doesn't seem to see their truly fine characteristics. He doesn't see the the true yet understated heroics, yet Rob plays those so well. So that WE see them. I find that fascinating. Listen to what he says about Tyler. I see the Tyler Rob portrayed as flawed but with so many good qualities...and Will wrote them in as well. It's strange.

random-fan-girl said...

@jessegirl, it was not revealed in the movie how she aquired the dress; in the script, Tyler went out (on his own) and bought it for her.

jessegirl said...

random-fan-girl...Isn't that interesting! Aw, shucks, Tyler.

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