Friday, December 3, 2010

Let Love In

Today, we welcome a new guest blogger, J. Jacobs, who explores a part of the realtionship between Tyler and Ally.

Letting your guard down is one of the most difficult things you can do in a relationship, especially if something you've experienced in the past makes you want to build a 10-foot thick stone wall and alligator-inhabited moat around your emotions. However difficult it may be to open up to a significant other, it is something upon which any strong relationship depends. No one wants to be in a romantic relationship with a stranger, so if you'd like for your relationship to thrive, you'll need to let your partner know who you really are and where you're coming from. Of course, this is a lot easier said than done.

in Remember Me (2010) Tyler and Ally are both bringing very disturbing family histories to their relationship. It is hard enough to watch your parents grow apart without knowing that the conflict stems from your brother's previous decision to end his life. Also, imagine trying to get through each day without being haunted by the memories of your mother's murder on a subway platform. These are the family histories that Tyler and Ally brought to their relationship, yet it was still able to blossom and grow. What was important in Tyler and Ally's relationship was not the fate or the physical attraction that might have brought them together at the beginning, but the fact that they came to know each other as real human beings. Tyler and Ally were able to open up to each other, and in the process, learned valuable lessons about what is important in life.

No matter what you've gone through, you can't let your past be the end of your happiness in the future. Life brings with it immense joys and immense pleasures, but we must understand that these are all a part of living. It is impossible to go through life without having people disappoint you, but we can't group everyone into the same category of "disappointers". Just because someone hasn't been there for us in the past, doesn't mean that others won't be there for us. Take Tyler and his father, for example. Tyler's father, an overworked businessman, didn't seem to realize when his children needed him, whether they needed him to show up for an art exhibition or to simply listen. If Tyler would have harbored all of the emotions he had towards his father and let them spill out into his relationship with Ally, their love would have withered away quickly. Overall, if you're someone struggling with a troubled past, let love in, because doing so will help you in more ways than imagined.


jessegirl said...

J.Jacobs, great post. This needed to be said.

"If Tyler would have harbored all of the emotions he had towards his father and let them spill out into his relationship with Ally, their love would have withered away quickly." Amen to that.

I've concentrated so much on the grief, the guilt, the pain of it all, but in the midst of all of Tyler's struggles, he had to let love in. Same goes for Ally. It seems simple, and yet, especially for traumatized people, it is hard. Yet look what happens when it is allowed in. Wow.

Heidi said...

Agreed jessegirl. Love can have such a wonderful healing aspect; unfortunately too often people let the grief consume their lives and end up closing the door the to the possibility of letting love in. You don't want to end up with a life filled with regrets.

Anonymous said...

Would you mind removing the byline in this guest post?

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